agoraphobia. i guess at some level im considered as an agoraphobic. constantly holding on to my comfort zone, believing in the danger of being adventurous. mostly the thought of being miles away from home, my loved ones, proves to be the biggest fear of all, the main contributor to this phobia. it may not flow in parallel with the very definition of it, but seems legit enough to me.

ive always wanted to expand my horizons, pierce through this maze we call earth and gain as much knowledge and experience elsewhere. but after quite some time, i finally realised, i could never forgive myself if something were to happen to any of my loved ones in my absence, never.

and for those of you who are clinging onto the idea of maintaining your precious friendships, things will change, better or for worst, change is inevitable. as human beings, we make plans and promises to keep the bonds strong enough to last, but He who decides, will truly determine the fate of these bonds. based on experience alone, i can honestly say that things were so much easier before, cause now its all about *surviving*, being loyal alone wont cut it, endless effort must be applied. and if that doesnt work, you should be able to predict the ending of that particular story on your own.

but hey, its not all that bad, you'll still get to meet new people, gain new experiences, no matter where you end up. the world is a wondrous place filled with mysteries waiting to be uncovered. even if that place is your own backyard.

all im saying is, it doesnt get any easier, it might get better, sure. just like anything else on earth,  it requires commitment and effort, that you can definitely bet on.